Filed under: Being Shunned, Beliefs, Practices | Tags: Baptist minister, changing beliefs, Compassion, Jehovah's Witnesses, old rules, prayer, shunning
That was the title of a recent article in the New York Times Magazine wherein a Baptist minister spoke about “mastering both the theory and technique” of prayer. According to him, there are rules of effective praying.
I remember when I used to believe that.
Here is an example of two rules I was taught about prayer: First, you must always and only address your prayers to Jehovah God by name. Second, it was essential to acknowledge Christ as the intercessor, so all prayers—without exception—ended with the supplication “in Jesus name we pray. Amen.” I believed if I didn’t follow these two rules (among others) my prayers would not be heard.
How many times did I inadvertently fall asleep in the middle of a prayer, my head heavy on the pillow, only to awaken the next morning, ashamed of my laziness, believing I’d been disrespectful of the Almighty? And because I’d failed to conclude my prayer correctly by mentioning Jesus, believed my words evaporated in the heavenly ether without reaching God’s ear?
My intention here is not to disparage the act of prayer, which I now practice regularly and experience as transcendent and transformative. I encourage my clients to be open and curious, experimenting with various forms of prayer from a variety of traditions. I’ve seen how ritual and ordered ceremony help quiet the mind so the heart can open to reverent conversation. In my experience, too many rules can weigh anything down, including prayer, limiting its form and ability to comfort and heal.
In the early days of my recovery from being shunned by my religion and immediate family, I stopped praying altogether. Why? First, I was weary of all the rules surrounding so-called, “true worship.” It was an understandable and necessary act of rebellion, a way to distance myself from a system that no longer satisfied my spiritual need. (Even now, I bristle at the idea of declaring rules for prayer, which tells me I still have work to do in accepting those who believe otherwise.) Second, due to years of conditioned thinking I felt guilty for leaving. Leaving, in and of itself, was enough to make me feel unworthy to approach God. Third, I had an aversion to any deity that punished through shunning. The name Jehovah carried a lot of baggage. I wasn’t sure I even believed in God anymore.
More than anything, I wanted a new way to be with the Divine and granted myself plenty of time to explore other traditions. Over the years I discovered—and continue to find—new ways to pray, including walking meditation, ritual, chanting, poetry, and song among others. A named deity is not required.
Is there a right way to pray? What do you think? How do you pray? In my view there isn’t ‘One Right Way’—there are a myriad ‘True, Good and Useful’ ways. You’ll know you’re on the right track if the practice opens your heart, cultivates compassion toward yourself and others, and helps you remember your inter-connectedness to all that is.
If you would like to read the New York Times article mentioned above, click here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/20/magazine/20Prayer-t.html
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Thank you!
Comment by Charlotte Russell December 1, 2009 @ 3:13 pm